Bones

To be completely honest with you, I have a sad, and probably somewhat unhealthy fascination with the Fox TV show, "Bones". The extent to which I memorize, examine and critique each character's development definitely borders on mild obsession.
So, naturally I was thinking about the latest story developments on my way to work this morning. The plot has taken a distressing turn this season. It is wildly clear to me (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this) that the main hero and heroine, Booth and Brennan, NEED to end up together. Oh, they've been fighting the obvious feelings they have for each other for 5 1/2 seasons now. They give & take, push & pull, accept and reject, but the irresistable magnetism called love brings them ever closer.

(Can you tell I'm pretty into this?)

The current problem that's got me worried, is that Booth has gone and found himself a serious girlfriend, who is NOT Brennan. And if the latest previews for tonight's new episode are any indication, Booth is actually about to propose to this usurper, this pretender, this so-called "girlfriend". Woe and sorrow!

I won't lie, this had me pretty anxious for a couple of days. My thoughts went in a continuous circle; something like this: "What if this is for real?? What if Booth MARRIES this girl?? I mean, she's fine, but she's no Brennan. If Booth leaves Brennan for good, we all know she'll spend the rest of her life alone -- outwardly rational, brilliant, and content with life, but inwardly vulnerable, wounded and afraid of being forsaken once again by those she loves. She'll probably never again dare to open her heart to anyone the way she once did to Booth, in all of his gentleness and patience." Tragedy upon Tragedy.

As I braved the icy back roads it vaguely dawned on me that, in a way, I see something of myself in Brennan's situation. In some strange sense, maybe that's even part of the reason for my debatably inflated anxiety over the whole issue.

My heart, like Brennan's, is cold and wounded, and like hers, it is slowly drawn out into light and warmth by gentle love; in my case, the love of my Savior. But in every new season of life, I begin to fear the outcome of my story and wonder if it will really turn out the way I've always known it should. My heart starts to close again, trying to protect itself, terrified at the threat of numbing disappointment; of the icy realization that I have misplaced my trust, misdirected my love, misjudged His worth. This would be the TRUE unbearable tragedy. If this love, that has slowly been waking my heart to feel and live again, were to slip away... I would never recover. And this terror is triggered every time my circumstances are a little too challenging, and the future is a little too unknown to rest within my microscopic comfort zone.

All of this, I still had one more Bones-related epiphany to experience, and I hadn't even hit the highway yet.

My mind resumed it's wandering over the current relationship crisis, until eventually it rested on the memory of an intriguing clue I happened upon a couple of days ago.

This clue came about when I put my fantastically misapplied research skills & keen intuition to work, and found a ray of hope in the plot description of next week's episode. (the one that will follow tonight's.) It will be themed on Valentine's day, and the description specifically states that both Booth and Brennan will try to downplay the significance of the holiday. Now, why would Booth try to ignore Valentine's day if he is happily engaged? I submit to you that he would not! Maybe... just maybe, the proposal will go badly, and he'll be single again by next week. (or maybe the plot description has an idiot writer who's about to dash my hopes.) But anyway, therein lies my hope. And with it comes relief, a renewed confidence, and in the joy of the moment, the grand statement,

"Well of course, Booth and Brennan will obviously end up together. There was never any real doubt; the only question was how long this other woman would stick around;

never whether or not she's actually permanent."

Right?

The writers are smart, and when the time is right, they'll give their eager audience the happy ending we're waiting for. It was silly of me to worry. Even if this crisis continues in spite of my current hopes, I know it will right itself in the end.

So, if I trust the writers and producers of a weekly dramafest TV show to provide the well-balanced story of love and committment I hope for... why, oh WHY, don't I trust God for the same thing in MY life? He's smarter and more interested in meeting my hopes for a fulfilling life story than anyone else - BY FAR.

So once again I say, "It was silly of me to worry." When I doubt the outcome of my story, I insult His character and wound myself with the painful inefficiencies of my own. Ridiculous.

I have faith that my favorite television charactors will find true love and happiness in the hands of the show's writers.

May God give me the soul and the brains to have exponentially more faith that I will find the same in the ARMS of the Writer of my own story.